His morning. They can’t handle it. They can’t handle it. And it’s so normal to me….I just think he’s with us for a reason, versus someone else. In retrospect, Sandra felt that having her children diverted her from a potentially destructive way of life as a “wild thing.” She saw her early desire and aptitude for working with children with special needs as a seemingly preordained preparation for parenting the children she was meant to have. This belief was important to Sandra’s narrative in two ways: It strongly supported her conviction that she was the best choice for the job of parenting her children with special needs and it served as evidence that God had a purpose in giving her two children with FXS. Several women expressed a similar sense that having a child with disabilities changed their lives for the I-CBP112 web better. Evelyn said she thanked God for her children because they “kept me going, kept me alive.” Felicia noted that, because of her experiences with a son with FXS, she now goes to church more often. She reflected, “As you get older, you realize, `Maybe this benefits me for a reason.’ I used to go out to some clubs every weekend. That’s the only thing that slowed me down from going down the road so much, from going out so much.” And Beth, although “mad at God” some days for giving her and her child the fragile X gene, concluded, “I’m glad some days that He did because I think if I didn’t have it, I would be such a different person–and, I think, a person that I would not like.” This sense of a higher purpose pervaded many of the mothers’ narratives, and sometimes became the overarching theme of their entire narrative. Wanda summarized her story by concluding that “both of my boys were a gift from God, for a reason.” Likewise, Alicia declared that God had a special purpose for giving her a daughter with FXS: I feel that this is why God gave me Sara. I’m a stable person. I’ve always been a homebody. And, [God thought] “she’ll be able to take care of a child with special needs.” I think that’s why He gave me her….I think there’s always a reason behind everything. And I think it’s all God. It’s God’s work.NIH-PA Author Manuscript NIH-PA Author Manuscript NIH-PA Author ManuscriptIntellect Dev Disabil. Author manuscript; available in PMC 2011 July 5.Michie and SkinnerPageFor Alicia, as for other mothers who gave religious narratives, the belief that God has “a reason behind everything” helped her to see herself as a competent parent, perhaps even the best possible candidate for parenting a child like hers. Tonya, whose son had FXS, compared herself with her siblings and came to a similar conclusion that she was “the person that could handle it the best.” Evelyn, mother of two boys with FXS, also expressed a conviction that her children were “meant” for her: “I have asked God, `Well, what is my talent?’ And I’ve had one cousin say, `Well, your get AZD-8835 talent is caring and giving.'” Mothers whose disability narratives carried this sense of a larger purpose often related that their beliefs helped them cope with their current challenges and eased concerns for the future. As Kelli expressed, Knowing that obviously I can’t control whether my child has this or not, then I’m just going to trust God to show me how He’s planning on using this for our good. And that just takes away a lot of anxiety that I think you could be overwhelmed by if you’re thinking on all what you should do to solve this. And I can’t solve it, so I just–you do what you can do.His morning. They can’t handle it. They can’t handle it. And it’s so normal to me….I just think he’s with us for a reason, versus someone else. In retrospect, Sandra felt that having her children diverted her from a potentially destructive way of life as a “wild thing.” She saw her early desire and aptitude for working with children with special needs as a seemingly preordained preparation for parenting the children she was meant to have. This belief was important to Sandra’s narrative in two ways: It strongly supported her conviction that she was the best choice for the job of parenting her children with special needs and it served as evidence that God had a purpose in giving her two children with FXS. Several women expressed a similar sense that having a child with disabilities changed their lives for the better. Evelyn said she thanked God for her children because they “kept me going, kept me alive.” Felicia noted that, because of her experiences with a son with FXS, she now goes to church more often. She reflected, “As you get older, you realize, `Maybe this benefits me for a reason.’ I used to go out to some clubs every weekend. That’s the only thing that slowed me down from going down the road so much, from going out so much.” And Beth, although “mad at God” some days for giving her and her child the fragile X gene, concluded, “I’m glad some days that He did because I think if I didn’t have it, I would be such a different person–and, I think, a person that I would not like.” This sense of a higher purpose pervaded many of the mothers’ narratives, and sometimes became the overarching theme of their entire narrative. Wanda summarized her story by concluding that “both of my boys were a gift from God, for a reason.” Likewise, Alicia declared that God had a special purpose for giving her a daughter with FXS: I feel that this is why God gave me Sara. I’m a stable person. I’ve always been a homebody. And, [God thought] “she’ll be able to take care of a child with special needs.” I think that’s why He gave me her….I think there’s always a reason behind everything. And I think it’s all God. It’s God’s work.NIH-PA Author Manuscript NIH-PA Author Manuscript NIH-PA Author ManuscriptIntellect Dev Disabil. Author manuscript; available in PMC 2011 July 5.Michie and SkinnerPageFor Alicia, as for other mothers who gave religious narratives, the belief that God has “a reason behind everything” helped her to see herself as a competent parent, perhaps even the best possible candidate for parenting a child like hers. Tonya, whose son had FXS, compared herself with her siblings and came to a similar conclusion that she was “the person that could handle it the best.” Evelyn, mother of two boys with FXS, also expressed a conviction that her children were “meant” for her: “I have asked God, `Well, what is my talent?’ And I’ve had one cousin say, `Well, your talent is caring and giving.'” Mothers whose disability narratives carried this sense of a larger purpose often related that their beliefs helped them cope with their current challenges and eased concerns for the future. As Kelli expressed, Knowing that obviously I can’t control whether my child has this or not, then I’m just going to trust God to show me how He’s planning on using this for our good. And that just takes away a lot of anxiety that I think you could be overwhelmed by if you’re thinking on all what you should do to solve this. And I can’t solve it, so I just–you do what you can do.
